Welcome back and thanks for reading the first post. This has been so therapeutic to get out and I am relieved to share my truth with you. So where did I leave off? Yes, we moved to Pennsylvania and found a fertility clinic near our new home. I was actually very excited about this, because it meant for sure that we would finally have our baby- whatever the doctor said to do, we were going to do. Dr. Sobel my RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) was insightful and caring. He wanted to start things off with a comprehensive blood test for genetic markers and any conditions we may have missed. This was followed by a Hysterosalpingogram – an X-ray of my Uterus and Fallopian tubes for any growths or blockage. Everything came back fine except for…my eggs. This bad news came in the form of a blood test called AMH.

The AMH (Anti-Müllerian Hormone) is a hormone secreted by the cells of the developing  egg sacks in your ovaries. This hormone reflects the number of eggs maturing in the ovaries on their way to ovulation. It basically let’s you know what’s going on in your egg tank. It is the strongest indicator of a woman’s ovarian reserve (OR) – the ovaries’ ability to produce good-quality eggs. My AMH level came back at 0.7, a low number (as you can see above) for someone my age. I was 29 with the egg reserve of a 40 yr old. This was apparently, a side effect of my surgery – an unfortunate loss of eggs from the damaged endometrial tissue scraped from around my right ovary.

Dr. Sobel’s recommendation was simple- IVF.

* Please note: Before we headed down the IVF road, we tried a fertility booster called Clomid (a hormone you take to boost your egg production and fertility). It clearly didn’t work so I’m skipping it.
  • Operation IVF

I want you to completely understand where our minds were as we prepared for our first IVF cycle in 2015. Based on the news of my diminished ovarian reserve, we felt time was not on our side and it was time to go with the sure-fire answer to all our problems- IVF. Since I was otherwise healthy, we had very little doubts when it came to the success of this IVF cycle. I mean it was simple math- I’m 29, they’re going to give me the hormones, pick some great eggs and put our baby (or babies into us)- voila! We were so excited that we told our parents and our siblings and even 1 or 2 friends about our upcoming procedure. They in turn were equally excited and even offered to help with the expenses. Between our parents and our amazing siblings we had enough money to get this baby-making show on the road. Nothing was going to stop this train, NOTHING!

  • IVF Cycle 1 (2015)

I injected myself  twice daily with the egg-stimulating hormone protocol of Follistim and Menopur. We went in for regular checks to see how the egg sacks were growing before we could get a date for egg collection. It was during one of these regular checks that I found out that my right ovary (the one with the endometriosis) had become non-responsive. My left ovary on the other hand was thriving and trying to carry the team. There was no time for me to feel sorry for myself and we were honestly just grateful that at least one ovary was working.  A couple of days before egg collection, we went for our final check-up, the results were abysmal. I had just one egg responding to stimulation… ONE. My doctor sighed and said “Adekunbi , I have to be honest with you, this isn’t a good cycle, I don’t think we’re going to be able to continue”. Since it would be pointless to do IVF on just one egg, Dr Sobel recommended that we convert the cycle into an IUI ( Intrauterine insemination) – where they directly place the sperm into the uterus to fertilize the egg. All was not lost since we would still be doing a manner of assisted reproduction and I felt, maybe this was God’s will after all. My hopes were high and my spirit unbroken. We still had a fighting chance.

Two weeks later, on Thanksgiving Day, my period came.

  • IVF Cycle 2

In January of 2016, we kicked things off again with renewed strength. Yes, the 1st time was unsuccessful but my doctor had reviewed the steps and had a new plan- a more aggressive process very popular with endometriosis related IVF called the Microdose Lupron Flare Protocol. This cycle would in a nutshell, “kickstart” your system before introducing the stimulation hormones into the mix. This way your body is steadily building the eggs and grouping them together for a higher egg retrieval rate. You can read more about the protocol here.

On the day of egg retrieval, we were just TOO excited to have made it this far. We said our prayers and I was sedated and sent off for the procedure.

I woke up to good news. They were able to retrieve 6 eggs all of which were mature. How amazing! My little left ovary spurned 6 eggs! All we had to do now was wait 24 hours to find out how many of those beautiful eggs fertilized. In a healthy young woman of my age, this number should be high so we were hoping for at least 4 fertilized eggs out of my six. I barely slept that night out of excitement at the thought of an impending pregnancy so you can imagine how disheartening it was to hear that only 2 out of the 6 eggs had fertilized. We were told not to worry as all it takes is one egg to make all our dreams come true.

Three days after the egg retrieval, we transferred two healthy looking embryos and went home with high hopes. I was officially PUPO (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise)! All the embryos needed to do now, was implant themselves in my uterus and begin to grow. To help with implantation, I took daily injections of progesterone – the most painful thing in the biggest syringe I had ever used. But it was all for a good cause. As long as I was pregnant.

  • The Two Week Wait

If you ask any woman trying to conceive what the hardest part of a cycle is, she’ll most likely say the “Two Week Wait”- that period between ovulation and  the pregnancy test when you’re left alone with your doubts and paranoia. Well, in a woman on progesterone supplements, this two week wait is even worse. You see, progesterone has many side effects, one of which is that it mimics early pregnancy symptoms: sore boobs, slight pinching cramps, increased fatigue – the whole nine yards. Simply put: pregnancy symptoms + not knowing if you are pregnant = mind f*** !

10 days later, my period came.

  • Darkness

You guys, we were SO sure it had worked. SO sure! The disappointment, the sadness, it’s a place I have avoided going back to for a year and a half now, because it was truly the lowest point of my life. The point where I was sure I didn’t want to live anymore and I wanted to wallow in pain somewhere and disappear. This feeling of failure and loss is something I would never ever wish on the worst of my enemies. I was broken. My husband was broken. My siblings were broken. Our parents were broken. It was dark.

For four months, neither of us dared mention the word baby in our house. It was impossible to even wrap our minds around our sadness. I cried every night, every day. My husband, who everyone knows to be tough as nails, shed painful tears, it was gut-wrenching. There was nothing anyone could say to change our reality. At this point, I had lost count of the negative pregnancy tests and was sure it would never, ever happen. To top it all off, IVF- our last resort option had failed. I was broken. 

A month before my 30th birthday, I finally called my doctor. He told me to come in and we could figure out the next steps. But before we did that, he needed to have a conference with the other doctors in his group to try and figure out why nothing was working. You know things are bad when even your doctor tells you he needs to think. That’s where we found ourselves after our second cycle failed. The big discussion here was why only 2 out of 6 eggs fertilized. The endometriosis expert of the practice gave me a call to breakdown what exactly went wrong and explained that endo has many layers, one of which is its effect on a woman’s eggs. Apparently in some women (like myself), the endometriosis hardens the shell of the egg, causing the sperm to have difficulty in penetrating it. Like really WTF? I had NEVER heard this before and it was devastating to say the least.

The only solution was to try and combat the endometriosis all over again by numbing my body’s ovulation with a higher dose of the hormone – Lupron (a popular endometriosis treatment). What Lupron does is silence your body by preventing it from producing it’s monthly estrogen, thereby avoiding a period and a flare of the endometriosis. Basically, it sends you into a menopause like state for a short period of time. This came with awful side effects like significant weight gain and wild hot flashes (LORD) – just in time for my 30th birthday LOL. I spent the whole month of May a shell of my regular self and just focused on trying to be happy. I put a permanent fake smile on my face and carried on like a zombie. Life moves on around you even when your heart stops.

Three months later, it was time to try again. {Read part 3 here}

 

  1. Salewa Oluwole

    http:/www.forstylesake.net

    Lord. This has me in tears, I cannot even begin to imagine. Hearing your hubby say “there is nothing God can’t do” gave me goose bumps, how beautiful it is to have such a support system. God bless you guys and truly I pray that you carry your babies and that God gives you guys double for the trouble, beauty for Ashes AMEN.

  2. Kariba

    I’m so sorry you had to go through this, Kunbi. I will be praying for you and awaiting your miracle. God bless you and your family.

  3. Abimbola

    Couldn’t hold the back the tears. I’ve had my own fair share, and I thought I’ve been through a lot, but nothing compared to what you’ve been through and actually being able to type it all. You are strong and blessed. May God continue to strengthen you and your family, and may HE grant the desires of your heart.

  4. Uche

    May God grant you your heart’s desires. If he has given you both the desire to be parents, he will fulfil his promises to you. Stay strong and remain hopeful. I’ll add you both to my prayers.

  5. tp

    Wow wow wow! I admire your strength. I can’t even begin to imagine all the hurt and pain. But our God is greater, stronger – He is HEALER! May you and your husband know joy and be proud parents very soon! Amen.

  6. Yeside

    http:/orishacoitus.blogspot.com

    Oh!!! I have felt the darkness! A different sort but similar. But Kunbi, there is balm in Gilead, of that I can testify. I am seriously looking forward to reading your testimony on this website. xoxo

  7. TheIsokoGirl

    Hey, my prayers are with you and your husband.This is so hard.No one can imagine what you had to go through. God can and will make the impossible to become possible. You carry your babies in Jesus name. Amen.

  8. Mojisola

    It’s funny how we really don’t know what people go through in the four corners of their homes but make judgmental comments “they are not ready to have kids”. Father have mercy on us in Jesus name. Amen. Kunbi, the way heaven is preparing to surprise you, Jesus I’m excited for you! You see, God knew everything would happen this way and it would give Him the perfect gateway to SHOW OFF! He started with planting the right people in your life. Your parents, your amazing husband and your wonderful audience cheering you on. All I can do right here right now is celebrate with you for the set time to favour Kunbi Odubogun has come. Yea! Congratulations mama! Heaven is up to something.

  9. Mo

    The two weeks waiting period is the worst ever! My period came on the 13th day during mine😔.
    I appreciate you sharing your story, May almighty God bless you with multiple for all your troubles 🙏🏽. *Cyber Hugs*

  10. Chisom

    You had me in tears…Thank you for having the courage to share your story. “He who promised is faithful ” Hebrews 10:23. I pray that God will grant you both the desires of your heart and perfect all that concerns you. Amen

  11. Taiwo

    Kunbi, I cried. Gosh you and Lamo God be with you both

  12. Arit Nkpubre

    Wow, thank you for sharing your story.

  13. Lami

    This story is truly eye opening but like one of the commenters has said, your miracle is just waiting to happen. I pray that very soon you will meet your twins. This is a prophesy. Amen.

  14. Nife

    Jesus is all we can say. Praying with and for you. 💕💕💕

  15. Nneka

    I love you Kunbs! You guys have gone through much more than I knew or imagined! Thank you thank you for sharing! And who the heck knew endo could affect the eggs like that. Crazy! I had poor FSH numbers, I was so devastated.

  16. FK

    My goodness. I’m so so sorry you and your family had to go through this. I can’t imagine. Rooting for you and will be bombarding heaven until God comes through! xx

  17. Biola

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I have no doubt that the light at the end of this tunnel will shine so bright to show us how amazing God is.

  18. Lynda

    I cried but remembered that there is a God that can do all things….all will be well dear Kunbi

  19. Bugo

    gosh.. I’m sat here crying. I can’t believe how extreme endo can be. When Olamide was reassuring you, my heart smiled. It’s great comfort to know that you’re in this journey with someone so reassuring every step of the way. I’m learning so much from these posts. Again, God bless you for sharing.

  20. Dolly

    I’m so sorry this has been so tough on you & yours. By the special grace of the Almighty, it will end in praise!

  21. Jadesola

    http:/blog.yourgreenbook.com

    Why am I crying as I read this ? Why am I locked in a bathroom pretending to pee as I read this? Because how do i explain that all I know about this person ia their wedding hashtag; and I’m balling up in tears? Kunbi this will end well in Jesus name. The God that did it for Sarah will do it for you. God bless you #KO2012 🙏❤❤❤

  22. Chichi U

    This had me in tears! I can’t begin to imagine. So sorry you had to go through all of that and then relive the memories with this post.
    Sending tons and tons of hugs your way. May God wipe away your tears. May he heal you and restore to your family all that you’ve lost. May you be fruitful and may happiness, joy, laughter and the cries of babies fill your home.
    There is a miracle coming your way.
    xx

  23. AO

    I have never written a comment here but I’m just in awe of the pain you’ve gone through and how strong you are anf your openness. I feel in my Spirit to pray for you: Be it unto you according to the Word of God: none shall be barren in His house. May God, who in His own time causes everything to work out for good to them that love Him, perform a miracle in your life that cannot be explained. Our God who is the impossibility business will perform a miracle on your life in Jesus name. Our Father who quickeneth the dead and calls those things that be not as though they were, will give you your own quiver full of children in Jesus mighty name. God bless you. Love & light. xo.

  24. Blessing

    http://www.blessingomakwu.com

    This episode had me shook, especially the videos. I am officially rooting for you Kunbi!

  25. Bisola Oyekola

    I have been an avid follower of your blog prior to aisle perfect. The way you celebrate your friends and others its inspiring. The lord will bless you with all your heart desires. Thank you for sharing something so near and dear to you. The strength and resilience to continue to forge on will be yours and your families. Looking forward to celebrating with you soon.

  26. Vee

    http://thewaitinggameplan.wordpress.com

    “Life moves on around you even when your heart stops”….This! Kunbi lots of hugs and kisses!!!!! PS: so glad you have an amazing family and a faithful God!

  27. Yinka A

    Thanks for sharing! I pray God grants you the desires of your heart. I know we’ll celebrate with you soon 🙂

  28. Huguette_n@hotmail.com

    Wow!!! Thank you so much for sharing, You shall be celebrated my dear. God is faithful , he can do what no man can do. Praying for you🙏🙏

  29. EO

    God has a purpose and plan for your life, your testimony will serve as yet another example that there is nothing that he cannot do!

  30. Abisola

    I can totally relate with your story and all you must be feeling because I’ve been there. I almost didn’t want to read your story because I was afraid it would arouse all the emotions have been working to bury in the past two months. My husband and I decided to seek help when we weren’t getting pregnant and doctors confirmed we were both okay and our case was that of unexplained infertility. We were advised to try IUI but that was not successful. A few months later we decided to try IVF and with the support of both parents we were able to raise funds for the procedure. I must tell you, the procedure took practically everything from me, from injecting myself once daily to having to take several injections daily and swallowing pills upon pills, it was so hard for me. I would cry, I was depressed, I felt less of myself, o didn’t understand why I had to go through all that, it was financially draining, it put a strain on my relationship with my husband, family and friends, I gained so much weight, I felt ugly, my clothes didn’t fit and I couldn’t afford to buy new clothes because we just couldn’t afford it, then let’s not talk about the fear and anxiety. The doctors were hopeful that I would have so many egg and even be able do donate some because I just turned 28 but they were only able to collect 8 eggs 3 of which fertilized. The transfer was done and the two weeks wait began. I tell you that the two weeks was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face in my life. I was taken into the hospital because I developed OHSS, a common complication from IVF and that was when I found out that I was pregnant. We were so happy and grateful to God then I went in for my 2nd scan and the doctors told me the pregnancy wasn’t progressing. I was devastated but I still have faith that a miracle would happen. My next couple of visits confirmed my fear. I was broken, I was in a dark place, I felt like just sleeping and not waking up, I wondered why God let it happen, I was angry, I cried everyday, I became a zombie, I became reckless with my life cos I was tired. It took so much to get out of that dark place and tell myself that my problems should not define my life, that even not having children should not determine my happiness. I’m in a better place and trusting God that he would bless me at his own time because yo be honest im not sure I can go through IVF again. I have faith that God will remember me like he did Hannah and I I know he will remember you too and every woman here waiting on him and I pray he gives us all the strength to wait.y experience has taught me not to take anything in life for granted, just because it happens easily for me doesnt mean I should consider it as normal.

  31. Tolu

    God always shows up. And you’re not an exception. He will show up for you and your husband. I had 5 failed IVF trials. We spent ALL our money and even more trying and every time with hope from the Doctors. I lost my heart cuz nothing truly prepares you for the pain and process of IVF and the wait and the disappointment. But I know God shows up. He always always always does. You’re not an exception. God bless you for sharing. We’d definitely come back to rejoice with you and your supportive husband.

  32. Rally

    I pray the God lord grants you and yours your hear desires. By next year we will be celebrating with you on the arrival of your twins in a Jesus name. I have faith that God has amazing plans for you. This is just the beginning of many doors to open for you. You’re testimony will be to big to comprehend. It will all end in praise. Stay strong, will be praying for you.

  33. Rals

    I pray the God lord grants you and yours your hear desires. By next year we will be celebrating with you on the arrival of your twins in a Jesus name. I have faith that God has amazing plans for you. This is just the beginning of many doors to open for you. You’re testimony will be to big to comprehend. It will all end in praise. Stay strong, will be praying for you.

  34. TT

    I am glad you telling your story – the fact you have the soundness of mind to do so says a lot. God isn’t done with you yet. Your testimony shall be complete. Patience is one of the most difficult tests ever, adulthood teaches us that the most. In spite of it all where there is life there is hope because God. Hugs from London

  35. Bella

    Kumbi, may God bless you and your darling husband. It is well with you. This will end in praise. Sending you lots of love, positivity and light 💞💖

  36. Kike

    Wow… Thank you for being so candid and open about your infertility. As someone who is also struggling (high fsh, very low amh @0.05 at 32), I was scared to read this; afraid that the emotions buried in the dark corners of my heart would resurface. I can only imagine how difficult it must’ve been for you writing it. Like you, I have plastered the same fake smiles on my face, only to go home and cry at night. I did receive a flicker of hope with a pregnancy, only to have a miscarriage. It’s a heart wrenching experience that I’d wish upon no one. But reading your story has served as a reminder of the strength that all of us fighting this diagnosis, possess. So, again, thank you. May our tears of pain & sorrow eventually turn to those of joy and celebration.

  37. Mary

    Hi. I just wanted to say that you are not alone and that I for sure am feeling the same way. The darkness is a hard thing to get through. It’s crippling at times for me. But my husband and I are still trying. Keep the faith and persevere.

  38. Wani

    http:/www.wanioatunde.com

    Aww Kunbi – my heart breaks for you. The things we take for granted and one has no idea what darkness others are going through. I’m glad you and hubby have each other on this journey. Praying there is a happy ending to your story just like Nneka’s.

  39. Ama

    http://www.jand2gidi.com.ng

    I believe God takes us through tough things He knows we can bear so that when it all works out, all the glory will go to Him alone. You have shown tremendous courage and I pray God will surprise you and your husband with your own miracle and you will know that it could only have been God that did it. I pray He fills the void and heals the pain you have both gone through. He makes the impossible, possible so be strong and have faith. Will keep praying for you. You are not alone.

  40. Bidemi

    Hi Kunbi,

    Again, thanks for sharing. I always say infertility isnt what one would wish upon one’s worst eneny and you just quoted same. the pain is real and it cuts through your soul and finds a way to impact every area of ones life.

    I just wanted to drop a few lines to encourage every one going through infertility that there is light at the end of the tunnel – Always. Its hard to understand, but having lived through endometriosis, fibroids, cysts, low AMH, surgeries,IVF rounds, miscarriage after successful IVF etc, thousands of $$$. Everything worked out good eventually and my husband and I are n0w happy to finally become parents. It will work out for you too – Thanks to God and advances in science!

  41. Olamide Okon

    Kunbi, thank you so much for allowing yourself to br be a vessel of peace and encouragement to sooooo many women and even men going through a similar journey. I know for a fact that God sees every bit of what your going through and there will surely be a testimony after this test in Jesus name! God bless your husband, his love and support for you is literally bursting out in your video. It’s undeniable and it’s Christ filled! Praying for you and your family my darling. God bless you

  42. Zinny

    Honestly this was painful to read. In life we go through the fire to bring out the best in us. Thanks so much for sharing your story because it will encourage and inspire so many women who are in similar situations. You are so blessed to have such a supportive husband.

  43. Cait

    God Bless you

  44. Sheri

    His name is Onise Iyanu (miracle worker)!!!! Your unborn child is for signs and wonders. I like others, who read your posts are touched by your frankness, thanks for sharing. I’ve been where you were at and therefore your story resonates….the pain/darkness can be all consuming . Re choosing the RIGHT partner this is key, God matched you both before you said “I do” He knew your journey. Your pictures are so beautiful, I don’t know you both but I’m singing & praising God for displaying wonders in your lives.

From the shop View All
  • open
  • open
  • open
  • open
  • open
  • open
  • open